LGBT History Month

LGBT History Month is an annual month-long observance of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender history, and the history of the gay rights and related civil rights movements. It was founded in 1994 by Missouri high-school history teacher Rodney Wilson. LGBT History Month provides role models, builds community, and represents a civil rights statement about the contributions of the LGBTQ+ community.

I thought I would write about what it was like being a lesbian in the 1980’s, until today in 2022.

In the 1980’s the spectre of HIV Aids hung over gay men; instilling lots of fear into people who suspected that someone was gay.

In the 1980’s I was a teenager, at high school and I knew I was different but didn’t understand how or why. I “fell in love” with unattainable men; actors, teachers and even younger boys. All in the name of appearing like a normal teenage girl. When my best friend left to go to a different school, I was heartbroken but didn’t realise until I was into adult hood that I was in love with her. As a young adult, I dated 2 boys seriously and engaged in very risky sexual behaviour. I’m lucky to have survived!

Looking back, I was seeking my own sexual identity at a time that I, in my upbringing had never heard of being gay.

In the 1990’s I did what society expected of me. I got married, had two children, went to work and was desperately unhappy. My husband was a good man. A great father, brother-in-law, son in law, friend; he was my best friend but there were no sparks. We stayed married for 17 years. During that time, I had an affair with yet another unattainable man. He was married, lived in another state, and never had any intention of leaving his wife and well-paying job.

Still seeking my sexual identity and risking my whole life to be with a non-existent lover.

Then in 2009, I flirted with another woman. I told her everything. My fears, my curiosity about being a lesbian and one day we kissed.

Again, I was risking everything but suddenly all the puzzle pieces fitted together. I knew I was/am a lesbian. All this time when things didn’t feel right was because I was trying to be something I was not.

I left my marriage, my children stayed with their father, and I went on this huge adventure to find out who I really am. However sadly this relationship didn’t last; actually, gladly this relationship didn’t last because she had me convinced that no one would love me because I’m a lesbian. She isolated me from everyone I loved; my friends, family, even my colleagues at work. Looking back I think she was not happy in her own identity; perhaps she wanted what I had; a secure loving marriage with two loving children.

Then I met my wife. She saved me from myself. She and I had similar “coming out” stories and we embarked on an adventure together. We found ourselves and each other. We had a commitment ceremony in 2011 and then in 2018 we were legally married on Cable Beach, Broome.

Only 4 years ago were gay people allowed the same civil right to be legally married if they wished. In some overseas countries gay people are executed and even in 2022 sometimes in Australia, my wife and I are mocked for holding hands in public. Gay people are more visible these days but that is because they feel safer to come out in their communities. The more visibility that we have of gay people doing “normal things” then the more people will be accepting and tolerant in our society.

Today it is still so very difficult for some people to be who they are and celebrate their identity but events like Octobers LGBTQI+ History month educates people to become more understanding, tolerant and supportive of people who are coming out or who have friends and family coming out.

Anonomous